Day 26 – The Me Inside

My husband says I get notions, and now my notion is crime shows. Well, there is a reason for it. I have follow-the-white-rabbit syndrome, like many writers.

You might think, what’s that? First, that’s a name of a made up syndrome, but it does describe an actual occurrence. As we settle for writing something, a novel, in a specific genre, we get ideas for so many other things. And all these ideas sound fabulous, even better than what we are writing now. Surely we should write that instead. And so it happens that you end up with thirteen beginnings of thirteen novels that you will never finish because, in hindsight, those ideas weren’t so good and maybe you should stick to what you where doing before. In the meantime, you’re now 93 and, although it’s never too late, well, let’s say time is becoming a luxury.

I, like many other writers, suffer from this problematic issue. I am not 93 yet, not to worry, but still. And the thing is I get distracted by the things I read and the things I see, mostly if they are in other genres. So what am I watching at the minute? Procedurals and other murder mysteries. What am I reading? The same.

Image result for tv detectives

My all time favourite, by the way, is ‘Murder, She Wrote’. She was liberal, ahead of her time AND somebody died everywhere she went. It was wonderful.

Also, novelists and screenwriters do their own research and might have more sources available so it is interesting to see because you can learn for your own research. It’s important to double check specific details tough, because literary license is a thing. What is it called in the case of film? Storytelling license? To be fair, that’d make more sense in general.

In this process of positivity and loving myself, I am discovering a lot about who am I. There is a lot of self-help involved. You might rise an eyebrow at that. Self-help can be controversial, mostly because right about anybody can write one. It helps that a professional is distilling the best bits for me, though, but still.

The thing is, when you are discovering these parts of yourself you do wonder how come you have never known this before and how come you had never tried to know it. I think there are two reasons for that. One is that you probably didn’t know they were there. The second is that it can be a bit scary. I assure you, when I started therapy the first time around, I cried ALL the time (in therapy, not in life).

It can be scary but also great. It’s like being afraid of the dark. Once you turn on the light, it’s not scary anymore. Knowing as much as you can about yourself can only help you achieve your goals so it’s something that I highly recommend to everybody, even if you are the most mentally stable person around.


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